Allowing Softness
Allowing softness in a society that is designed to harden us, is an act of rebellion. We have a choice, I choose to rebel and soften.
Image: Annie Spratt/unsplash
Society shows us that the more we do, the more successful we are, which in turn leaves us empty, and truly unfulfilled and imbalanced within. This can lead to burn out leaving a void we try to fill with people, things and situations that widen the void that was created in the first place.
The sacred practice of self-care is a BIG trend right now. Although I am grateful for the awareness that has been building around intentional living, I think a lot of us are trying to figure out how the fuck are we supposed to shift our lives to slow it down and be more present when the opposite message has been so loud, and we are currently so conditioned. My clients share their anxieties about making these shifts, and it often involves first and for most, using our voice and setting boundaries. For those of us that are people pleasers, this change will most certainly create anxieties, as it is new territory.
I am here to tell you that the changes needed to create the shift into more soft and present living happen gradually, building momentum gracefully, which is the point. No?
Trying to keep up with what society has deemed successful, will leave you feeling depleted, and disconnected. In this state we lose sight of what is really important and often times experience resentment and frustration. When we have reached this state, it is our bodies way of screaming at us that changes needed to be made. If ignored, illness will most likely creep in. Experiencing joy is no longer an organic state we have access to.
I see clients in a variety of different sates, usually at the beginning stages of imbalance, unsure of where to start to create a shift. What they are seeking is wholeness. We all are. We live in a society that thrives when its people are farthest from themselves.
I have always been a bit of a rebel, I like to push back at what people tell me I should do or how I should be. Throughout my years of study I have found a few practices that have fed me in ways I hadn’t experienced before. Some are deep spiritual practices, that I may not have found without making small changes first. Below are a few of my favorite ways to create a slower way of living.
“When you are depleted you experience less joy.”
We can start to shift into a softer lifestyle, by simply making some small changes to our routines. Here are a few examples:
Making more time for a bedtime ritual at night.
Incorporating mindfulness practices like, meditation, yoga, journaling, chanting, or being more present with daily activities, and slowing down are pace when we can.
Eliminating screen time. Filling any void we experience when we cut out screen time (tv, social media, email, Pinterest) with really fulfilling activities like reading, writing, creating, doing a puzzle going for walks.
Practicing doing NOTHING.
Turning off notifications on your phone and putting it on DND after a certain time of night.
Receiving healing modalities when you can, such as massage, acupuncture, chiropractic care.
Maybe try soaking, or ritual bathing.
Set gentle boundaries with your family and friends, modeling this new way of being for the people around you. Stay consistent as you may receive some pushback at first, especially if you are a mother.
Spend more time in nature. Mother Nature is a beautiful example of the slower process of being and living, from the animals to the plants. She reminds us to trust the process, that a lot of what we think is important, really isn’t, and that all the important things will have their turn, when we replenish ourselves first.
By adding at least one of these practices into your daily life, you will start to notice a shift in your well-being, this positive reinforcement will encourage further changes. Change takes time, especially when we live in a society that often bullies us into thinking one way over another. My own practices are rooted in the way my ancestors lived, slow and closer to the earth. The slower we are, the quieter our life becomes and we are able to hear the whispers of our own souls. In this center, truth resides.
Con Amor,
Amanda